I really have no idea what I’m doing. Not that I’m doing anything. But it feels like time just seem to drag on but when you look back, it goes so fast. I didn’t do much this weekend, just a bit more family time. Gosh, I’ve never spent this much time with relatives besides my main branch of family, who most of the time leaves me alone anyway. So it feels kinda sickening in a way. I know I shouldn’t feel this way but it’s so icky. I really hate not being a family person. To them, family is like the most important thing. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just miss living by myself and I can’t wait to move out again. At least when I get a car, I get more freedom.

Anyway, to fangirlism, as kinda an escape. Since my internet is being a shithole D: and I have no way of contacting my new friends here. Can’t wait to go to uni hahah… that remind me, I haven’t done my assignment description for an approval yet OTL

When did I get addicted to MMASM?? Sure there’s cute guys but I never did like these kind of reality serieses much. First Bravo US, AU season, a bit of the UK… ahh someone direct me where I can get the eps, and now second season US! Uwahhh! Colin is the cutest little geeky dork ever!!! So adorable from mtm to now, even though I think he sucks at modelling lol but since he had no experience, can’t really blame him >”3 So cuuuute, I hope he’ll stay for awhile to improve. I secretly love geeks hahahh
Chris kinda annoys me >: Way too girly and bleh in my opinion. I miss Casey ;w; And with Ken, so glad he was out. Can’t wait till next week! I see some bare asses there!

Prince of Tennis!! I can’t believe the continuation of Prince of Tennis. Well, actually I don’t have that much of an opinion of it. It was really introductory but at least it didn’t seem too bad. I feel there’s gonna be a whole lot of repetitiveness and never-ending stories but I guess that’s what I liked about it.

I finally watched 5 centimetres per second as I was cleaning up my laptop. It was so-so. Not my cup of tea… The romance is way too much and too slow. I love the beautiful backgrounds and the animation though.

Shit it’s 2AM ;w; here I was trying so hard to change my habits. I guess a week isn’t enough time of a change. This weekend was a waste of time D: Go me.

First week at my new uni is over. It went so fast and yet somehow it felt like I’ve been there for a long time. Anyway, piled with heaps of assignments is just great. But I suppose it was expected. I still have Friday off, though it’d probably be spent in the library or studio soon. I really should’ve gone today… but it’s the first week and besides I needed to go shopping anyway.

Things are so much different here since they have so MUCH more prac. I’m still considering whether that’s a good thing or not. It requires much more time and creativity and I go so blank. It is a bit more enjoyable and more free but it’s hard to think of something myself that I’d actually fully like. The tutors aren’t that much of a help.

Lol I can’t believe I’m doing the same history stuff again. I so will not fail this year!!! I will not fail History. I will not fail history. In fact, my goal is to ace it! The lecturer is a little bit better. Little bit. At least I know what he’d be talking about and the assessment isn’t too bad. I hope. And less distractions. And I think that’ll be my only exam for midsem.

Anyway, it’s really weird not seeing the people from my old uni… Like something would come up and I could just imagine what they would say or what I would say to them except they’re not there. People here also seems nice but it seems more disciplined.. well not disciplined exactly but more I dunno, mature, independent etc etc. Even the cute guy is not like what I thought he’d be like just from his looks. Maybe kiwis are really more reserved than aussies LOL Or maybe it’s just I’ve gotten used to Aussies’ loud obnoxious stereotype by nzers. Hahah okay I say that with endearment especially since most are not. I love how laid-back it is there and here. I don’t think I can live in a different atmosphere now.

So I just arrived at Auckland yesterday and wow it was so green. I really missed the greeness and clear skies, especially with all the bushfires happening in Melbourne. Hahah I also found the kiwi accent really strong now. I never used to notice it that much last time I was here but damn it’s like a ‘ping’ whenever they talk especially the ‘e’s. But I suppose I’ll get used to it. Heck, I’m starting to speak like them already. Even the customs person said that I totally lost my filipino accent. LOL but I don’t think so, I still sometimes have that roll in the r’s

Aaaanyway, I’m now staying at my auntie’s house. Well it’s either I stay at their place and get a car or get a flat. While I really really wanna live alone and not to mention I’m pretty used to it, I need a car. Public transport here sucks ass. So much more worse than Melbourne. I’m really missing melb now ;_;

First day at uni today and more new strangers to meet. I’m getting pretty used to this whole moving around and about thing. I remember having 2 primaries, tho not including phils since i don’t remember there at all….., 2 intermediates and 2 high schools. And now 2 universities?? Hahah

Lol I kinda got a bit lost looking for the rooms but managed to make my first friend at this uni yay while we try to get to the room on time. Thank god the place was filled with heaps of helpful staff. The lecturer was American ahhah but her voice didn’t annoy me as much as I thought it would. It was a bit better than my old one since we drew heaps! It was all sketching and drawings and stuff.

Everyone was pretty chill.. I kinda miss the guys’ jokes and immatureness from my old uni but who knows it’s only the first day. But I have a feeling it’s gunna be srs business. Well as serious as architecture gets. Guys look pretty average, I dunno, I didn’t really paid much attention to them surprisingly. Okay, that’s not really a pure lie. It’s just this one super hot guy and then the others just… others hahah. I actually saw him before I got lost but didn’t think he’d be in the same class. And of course he was flaunted by girls when he got in =_= why do I find those sort of guys hot. So he got plentiful of stares from me, dunno if he noticed lol. I hope I wasn’t too creepy, I was just trying to figure out who he looks like. Now I swear he looks like Chad Michael Murray but with much manry-er and sharper looks. Lol but then again my visual memory isn’t perfect hahah. Anyway, we had to split into four groups and wow.. he was in my group lol so I managed to get his name. Now I can start stalking rofl right. Anyway, but I’m already slashing him with the euro guy next to him. Such a gay world.

Welll, we have gotten loads of new assignments already D: And I spent the whole day at uni, shops, bus, distracted by little cousins, reorganising my room and unpacking. And now before I knew it I’m typing this at 12:30am. Way past my supposedly bed time. I can’t believe I have to wake up at 6am and I haven’t done any of the assignments. What happened to my no slacking off! Okay, no slacking off.. I shall plan and do half of the assignments now before I go to sleep. O yay think I’ll get used to less than 4 hours sleep a day.

Well ranting on here rather than LJ is different… I feel like going back there just to rant about uni stuff for the nostalgia but I love my blog too much.

Ahh! Everything’s due but I’m not doing anything probably until right when it’s time to hand in! I hate it. It’s just every time I’m at home too or with my friends. But I can do it, I mean today, I actually did some work at uni!

I wanted to stay later to be able to do more but what do I think? I can do it at home! I have my board and plus I can play music so it won’t be so bad. And I can take breaks anytime I want, maybe go on msn while working too. Then I did not do anything! I just surfed the net. Found some Twilight dirt- like the actors showed up on VMA something for some minutes. Taylor was cuuute. He is getting buff D: personally, not my thing on him. And like most people, I got irritated when they cut off Robert! He didn’t even get a chance. But I’m not going to go on that, this post is not about Twilight. Anyway, I was checking out my communities in LJ and damn so many updates! I wish I can catch up with all of it. My fandoms are getting wider. I also randomly went on bebo. Something I don’t do much, dunno why. And awww I suddenly miss all my friends in NZ. Oh well, time’s moving and everything’s changing. Ugh, see I’m procrastinating here even more.

I’m really pissy at myself. I can’t get anything I want and need done. It’s really time to change, and I gotta stop saying that and not doing anything.

English essay is due tomorrow, that means I only have a day to do everything. At least it is not too long, only 1000 words this time. Note to self: make sure I get my history essay started too soon.

The other works are due soon too. I really need chemistry done so I’ll do that straight after the English. Then History. Oh and Materials too. I must not leave that one to the last minute or it’ll kill me. Aw man the notes I still have to do! I’ve been putting that off really bad. There are all the other works too but I will stop there for now. Folio, I’ll worry next week. I’ll just try to do as much as I possibly can.

On a happy thought, my wigs are coming soon! Two weeks! I can’t wait. I wonder what they’ll look like.. I hope it’s like the photos and it wouldn’t look too bad on me. Man, if the wigs are coming soon, I really need a kick in the ass. I haven’t done my costumes yet! Three weeks until manifest. I’m so screwed.

I still need to go to the gym too. I went for a week a couple of weeks ago. Then I had my period, and stopped. And then, I haven’t gotten myself motivated again to go. So, gotta get back to that.

I swear my sleeping times are so fucked up.

While looking forward to the Twilight movie, I wondered what happened to the Cirque Du Freak movie :/ The actors are not dazzling as like Twilight but I do hope it would still be good. Good acting > Good looking actors??? Hmm, maybe. But since I’ve already had some images of what the characters would look like in my mind, I’m really not for it.

I’d thought of Mr. Crepsley more creepier looking, less hair, taller and a bit more bony in the face. Darren to be smaller but the actor is okay, he looks average and if he can act, that’s great! And Evra skinnier, leaner and a flatter elegant sharp face lol. Steve, that’s a hard one since he is my favourite. No words can describe how I imagine him. Josh cannot compare at all. Then there’s Mr Tiny, I thought of him as old and chubby lol. And Mr Tall as more mysterious. Hmm… I wonder if it has a sequel and what would Vancha, Kurda and Mika look like. Kurda needs to be at least nice looking. Charlie Hunnam, yes? Lol, okay, guilty, I just wanted an excuse to link some hot pics. But he’s getting old. Oh, well. Getting off topic here.

So apparently, some scenes from the book were completely changed! I really love the books, way more than Twilight. There’s rumours saying that Darren brought Madam Octa to his school and she bit some random kid. They had some photos too, though not the actual scenes. I’m wondering what that’s about. I don’t want to think bad because it’s so different but some reason would be nice. I guess I need to wait to watch it to judge. If it was true, what happens to Steve??? I thought Steve going to Darren’s and finding out about Madam Octa then biting him was a really good part of the book. It just changes so much things! But I shouldn’t really worry, the only thing I wish for the movie is that it wouldn’t be too bad. I really want to like it. Even though I already know that it won’t do justice to the books. I’m probably just being biased now.

Hmm, I wonder when the trailer is going to come out.

I slept over my friends house last night again. The aim was the same- to do some work and study together. Yet, yesterday we didn’t do much. It was only after some hours that I had to give in and do some of my projects or I’ll fail.

Of all the things I could’ve done, I did my hatching for freehand. Something that I could’ve done by myself, so what was the point of doing it there? But I guess it was better than doing something else unrelated to uni. I hatched for hooours. It started to look good, I didn’t want to stop but I was so tired and hungry.

We went to have dinner at some Chinese place. It was small restaurant and I could see only a couple working with one assistant. Apparently, that’s how Chinese’s usually work when I asked my friend about it. I rather thought that was kinda stingy. But to each their own. I ordered sweet and sour and we had to wait awhile. Some elderly Aussies came in and there were no tables bigger than two’s. A table was empty next to us and another next to some couple eating. The waitress or assistant or whatever she was, had the nerve to ask us to move! Okay, I wouldn’t have minded moving but we have been waiting for some time for our food and the couple at the other table was kinda annoying. Finally, the food came, and undoubtedly, it was pretty good. Not as much as I would’ve like but it was nice. I don’t know if I’d go there again. The food was great in taste but not worth the portion and the bad service. I prefer the other restaurants around.

On the way back, we went to Baskin Robbins for some nice choc mint ice cream again! I love that ice cream shop. One day I will buy a whole tub of choc mint from there! The we quickly went in safeway to buy some snacks and there were these crumpets thing. It was a weird little thing. It’s like pancakes except really bouncy and elastic-y. We got that too.

Walking back to my friend’s place, we began talking about the supernatural and stuff. Like god and ghosts and afterlife. I dunno how it came to that since we were talking about games before. Personally, I don’t believe in them but a little part of me kind of does, just in case. Anyway, it was a weird topic.

When we got to our destination, I was lazy to get back to work. My friend wasn’t much of a help since she wasn’t doing work as well. But I did continue hatching until late. I still wasn’t finished when I got really bored and sick of it.

I looked around the room, looking for a distraction. And I found a very nice one indeed. A book. Lately, I have been reading so much fiction that I have for a while. The book was “My Story”, I have heard of it from a couple of other people and they said it was pretty good. It was about a boy that was abused by his mother and was really sad. I wasn’t really much of the depressing mood at that moment but I read some anyway. It sort of reminded me of some really angsty fanfic. Lol, you know you read too much fanfiction when you think an original fiction is a fanfiction. Anyway, I read some until I was so sleepy to focus.

The next morning we tried the crumpets thing. Actually we tried it last night but we didn’t toast it so it didn’t taste good at all. It tasted like some sort of plastic! So weird. So we were going to do it right this time and put it in the toaster. Funny how different it was then than it were after it was toasted. It was crispier and had a some pancake taste. We had it with ice cream, ahh so sweet, and it was really nice.

Not much happened afterwards since we decided to do some of our work. I was looking through my projects, assignments and notes and I realised how much stuff was incomplete and how much more I have to do in two weeks! In two little weeks, everything is due! What happened to the time?? I swear I had heaps more time to do these but I didn’t. Not to mention, I wanted to do some of my drawings again because I didn’t like it. Ahhh the stress! I really wish I have powers to control time.

Ugh my week at uni was so boring. We actually got up on Monday to go to uni surprisingly. But I’ve gotta admit, I didn’t function too well. I was taking so long to do anything! It was my friend’s birthday on Tuesday lol though he skipped it. He’s having a house party on tomorrow, I don’t know if I should go there or go clubbing. Oh well whatever. So many birthdays this week. My sister, my aunt, my other friend, my dad…

But yeah, he was lucky to miss Tuesday because I was so not in the mood. At least we didn’t have history! I skipped out one of the CAD as well to finish my roof. Though, I actually didn’t get to finish it until we stayed back. And my roof was ugly. It doesn’t even sit flat on the surface. I should really take greater care on my work so that I can be proud of it.

Wednesday was a bore. Maths and chemistry are really starting to make me fall asleep. Not to mention OH&S. And we have the same teacher for all three! I don’t know whether that is better than having three different ones or not. Then, structural engineering… I was falling behind and some stuff I just can’t follow as I my attention has gotten really bad in that class. And in English, my attention dropped dead. The only reason I stayed awake was to draw some of my OC’s on my notebook. Gotta admit, one of them looked hot xD I need my scanner back.

Anyway, I gotta remember these for visual thinking:
1 - tea cup, red jaguar sportscar
2 - noah, blue borje bicycle
3 - may, size 42 black boots
4 - ray, green 4H leads
5 - law, 2kg yellow bananas
6 - jaw, black square-faced omega watch
7 - key, green case 50cm white measuring tape with brown lettering/numbers
8 - tag, $8,000,000 blue rotring rubber
9 - bay, 75cm aluminium T-square
10 - toes, orange clutch pencil

I should draw something for it to help me remember since my memory is the worst. A doodle should do. When I have time.

Hahah, today-er yesterday I got lazy and skipped it. I hope I didn’t miss too much. It were only two subjects… the two subjects which I’m really behind on and didn’t understand. Sigh. I need to get over this and concentrate on my studies!

Getting high is all it’s cracked up to be. This time I really got smoked some. And it felt GOOD. Just the experience of it is just interesting. I wasn’t so sure at the start because I began thinking about what if I’d look so stupid? What if I’d DO something stupid? What if we can’t get home tonight? What if something else bad happens? To be dramatic, I’d like to say I was hyperventilating but I wasn’t actually. I’m exaggerating a little but I do have to say that I did think of what I was doing but I’m curious laid-back as hell to care shit.

I’m not very good with words, I know that, so it’s hard to explain. It took quite some time to start working on me. I first thought that I was taking it wrong since nothing felt different. I guess I wasn’t in the right mood in the first place but still. Some time later I could feel something in my throat. It was weird, a bit uncomfortable but I really did not care at that time.

It felt like I was dreaming, yet I can control myself. I wanted to do silly things. I thought about just jumping around. Maybe do some of those ninja shit and see how that would turn out. I even thought about jumping off the balcony, which is kinda high, just to see if I can survive. Not a good idea. But I wasn’t high enough to do anything. Either I’m just a really calm person or I have a strong immune system.

Then my sight seems wider. Like I can see more. I don’t know, maybe not really. Or either things were just meshing up together as my eyes wander.

I was pretty hungry soon and we ate some pods and damn it tasted soooo good. I dunno if it’s just me but I reckon it was the best thing I’ve eaten. My friend said I’d get really hungry and eat a lot when I get high. But it wasn’t really that, it’s more like I just want to eat because it tasted good.

After some mucking around and I checked up myself with the mirror in the loo. Dark bags were really showing and my bloodshot eyes did not help. I splashed some water on my face to clean up, not that it made much difference. We decided not to take too much and to go soon since we do have to get back and go to school the next day.

I gotta admit, I got paranoid when we went out. I swear I saw the cars coming straight for me. As if they were going faster just to hit me. And then waiting for the train was weird. I began thinking of things that I wouldn’t usually think of. It was pretty annoying but I couldn’t help it.

Time goes by so very slowly, but after it has passed I thought it went too fast. I could feel anxiety, nervousness and excitement? thrill? I don’t know.

One of the strangest things I believed then was that my friends were mocking me. They would start talking and then stop. I looked at the time. They would start talking again about something else random. I started to think what they said before was just my imagination. Looked at the time again and it was the same minute. They kept doing it. After a while time was going but yet stopping.My mental state then wasn’t exactly reliable. Not that it ever is but it was not up to usual standard.

My skin felt quite sensitive. Usually I can handle the cold really well. Like, even if it was freezing cold and I feel it, it wouldn’t bother me at all. Especially since I love the coolness even icy feeling all around me. But at that time, I was fucking shivering! I wanted nothing but a space heater. I thought to myself that I shouldn’t feel that cold but yet I can’t help it.

I don’t know. Everything seems to contradict.

But I cannot wait until next time. Maybe it was the dreamy state? Whatever it was I wanna do it again. I wish I can get a hold of some myself and do it whenever. But I do have self-control. I won’t do anything stupid.

I woke up pretty late today around 1pm even though I was supposed to meet my cousin earlier to give me my mother’s mails from our old house. So I didn’t have time to do my laundry and stuff. Times like these, I miss living with my mother where she does my laundry as well.

Anyway, I missed a couple of calls from my cousin before I woke up and called her back. It turned out she was wondering around Victoria Market luckily not too bored out of her mind. I always hate making people wait but yet I do it all the time. I do try not to. So got changed quickly and I met with her.

She wanted a lunch in the restaurant near my place. I haven’t actually been there but it’s Mexican and looks so damn good! We sat at table 18, ahhh joy of KHR numbers. My cousin thought I was weird for fangirling about a number. But it was okay, she shouted me anyway.

I ordered a Tandoori Chicken Wrap and Iced Coffee. I was craving really bad for coffee ever since the Starbucks below my uni shut down so I drank some as soon as I got it. Savouring the bittersweet coffee flavour.

There was even coffee beans on it

My cousin was saying that she’s going to make a blog with pictures. That reminded me of this blog and I wanted pictures too. Anyway, the Tandoori Chicken Wrap was so nice. It was a big portion though and I didn’t get to finish. Plus it had lots of tomatoes and I’m not too fond of tomatoes.

Mmm... This is what I call lunch!

We went to the junk store and the market next to it afterwards and I found some stuff I might use for cosplaying on Manifest. I’m not too sure though. I’m getting really broke. There was this little aquarium/pet store. It was so cool! I wanted snakes. They were so pretty and nice. Though there wasn’t any bright green ones- my favourites. There were loads of fishes and crabs and water animals but I only got a quick look. The fish fighters were weird. I was kinda curious on how far they would go to winning against each other but I am not spending money on that.

I got my mother’s mail and checked through it. There was sooo freaking many bills and crap. I don’t know how she can manage all of it. I haven’t even opened them all! I called her and talked for some time. She bought an apartment in Brisbane! Only one bedroom though, but still, I can’t wait until the end of the year to visit. Plus she booked us a hotel to stay at in Gold Coast for a week. So fun!!! I’m feeling so guilty lately. I haven’t been studying or doing any homework and schoolwork.

At the end of the day and wanted nothing more than to relax and surf the net. I didn’t wanna do homework or laundry and not even go to the gym! Then my friend asked me if I wanted to get take up some grass tonight. I kinda do and don’t and I kinda said yes too and she already got her bong ready and told the guys we’re coming. Soo bad. On a Sunday night when there is school tomorrow. At least she’s going to sleep over so we can get home kinda safely together than alone somehow and she can wake me up in the morning. But yeah, I’m getting high toonight!